The Time Traveler's Wife

Dave helped me paw through my boxes of books last weekend and we located the two books I was talking about in my previous post: The Time Traveler's Wife and P.S. I Love You. They happened to be in two differnt boxes and not the first or even second boxes we looked through. But that's just how it always works.

I finished reading about Henry and Clare just this afternoon, shut in my office, "taking lunch" after I had returned from lunch with a friend.

I think I find more and more in this book every single time that I read it that makes me love it even more. The interactions between Henry and Clare and their love for each other is what keeps me hooked. There is humor and romance, anger and happiness, frustration and acceptance. And I take a step back and realize, while some major details are so very different, Henry and Clare's life could be any young couples. It's about finding the person that makes you want to be a better person, but accepts you and loves you exactly as you are - faults and everything. It's about waiting for, finding and loving and giving up the person that completes you.

There are so many different situations these same emotions could apply to, that they make the book almost universal. You have to, of course, take into account The Time Traveler himself, but otherwise... It's about waiting. Waiting to see him, waiting for him to come back to her, always waiting, with very little to hold onto. And life continues. Always, life continues. Doesn't that sound familiar?

Arem't we all waiting for something? Whether it's somebody or something it doesn't really matter. Whatever we're waiting for has more meaning to us as an individual that any of us really let on. Most of us die-hard romantics are waiting for that special someone and wondering if it's really the person we're with and if it is why do we feel like we're settling in some unspoken compromise? And if it isn't, where is my special someone and why am I still with this current beau? Another quesiton we ask is "Is this what they call true happiness?" I know most days that it's hard to admit to ourselve, but all these questions have so much bearing on our lives. And yet, life continues. We might feel like we're stuck, standing still, gazing out of a window as life swirls by down the street.

Pensive, I'm moving onto P.S. I Love You.

So do I vent about my job or pick a different subject? I didn't get any suggestions for new reads on the last post... But I could talk about what I'm currently reading, I could talk about the a couple movies I've seen lately: Harry Potter and The Ugly Truth. There is, of course, the event of Michael Jackson's death that occurred since I last posted - and of which I am getting sick of all the news updates on. There are the T.V. shows I'm currently enjoying. Then there's the puppy I want... a cute little puppy. No particular one in mind, just a puppy. I have also discovered that CVS brand Pringles chips are not the same as actual Pringles. Blech! I also found out that there is a "Horse Whisperer" and he did a show with Cesar Millan (the Dog Whisperer - really good show btw). I could also talk about the book I've been wanting to read for quite some time but can't find in my room of boxes... My books have been boxed up since I moved out of my crazy apartment in DC and in with my boyfriend. ALL my stuff (except for my couch) fits into one bedroom.

The book is entitled "The Time Traveler's Wife" and the movie based on the book comes out in August. I read it soon after it came out in paperback and have read it several times a year since then. It's one of those books that I pick up to feel better and calms me. I can say that it helps me put my life back into perspective. I know everyone loses perspective sometimes and this book helps me get back in touch. I don't know why. There are no similarities between my life and the book. It's just one of those feel-good books. So, I want to find it. And I am so excited that they are finally coming out with a movie. Essentially, the story is about waiting... For some reason, that concept draws me in. Maybe because we're all waiting. Waiting to find that other person on this planet that is our other half. That is something I truly believe. Regardless of languange, looks, race, education, location, and gender, there is another person out there that I (and you!) are meant to be with. And I feel like this book epitomizes that belief. I feel affirmed, relaxed, and at ease after reading it. But it's also one of those books that you either love it or hate. There isn't really an in between. I love it. My mom hates it. Don't know why, she just doesn't like the story at all. Interesting.

P.S. I Love You is a feel-good book, too. Even though it's such a sad story, it's also a book about healing and understanding that it's ok to move on and, essentially, let go. Acceptance. Another one I've read multiple times and keep going back to.

Ok. It's decided. I need to dig through my boxes of books and find these two books. And soon.

I think it's good that I realize that there are times where I need those absorbing distractions in order to get back in touch with where I am, what I'm doing, where I'm going and where I've gone. I think that one needs to take a step back and observe in order to understand and move forward on the path that is the best path at that time. To help you make better choices.

Yep, that time again.

Book Review

I recently finished a book that intrigued me and had me pondering whether I should read the book this one had been inspired by.  I will, soon, but at the moment I'm still trying to digest my latest, but not only, read.

Ahab's Wife: The Stargazer was much better than I had originally thought.  Granted, I bought and started this book probably over a year ago and just now picked it back up to give it another try.  There was something about it that had intrigued me the first go around, but I hadn't had the patience.  

The author, whose name escapes me, took three quotes (long and short) from Herman Melville's Moby Dick about Captain Ahab's wife and ran with them.  Her novel threw me for a loop.  Not at all what I was expecting, this particular read took relationships between men and women from that time period, the late 1800s, and put a more modern slant on them solely through the main character's perspective and idealogy throughout her life.  The novel initially grabs your attention by tugging on your heartstrings but continues to captivate you as you see the growth of the heroine and the people around her as the author tells her history and how she came to be Captain Ahab's wife (to paraphrase) "Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last."  

There's something about a strong feminine lead character.  The novel is not an easy read.  But the reader has the privilege of viewing how the character, Una, came to be Captain Ahab's wife and her strength in becoming a whaler's wife at that.  Of course, the author touches on Ahab himself but briefly and the majority of the novel is about Una's spiritual and mental acceptance of Ahab's growing obsession with Moby Dick and even demonstrates how Ahab stays with her into her next marriage.  Of course there is much more to the piece than I can put into words at this time. 

It made me think.  There are little subplots about people that touch her life and contribute to the strong woman she becomes, such as a slave girl, a midget bounty hunter, Margaret Fuller, and a scientific family in the coastal town near Nantucket that she comes to live in purely because it is a port Ahab's ship put into, as close to where she was raised as possible. An extraordinary journey put so eloquently to words.

I highly recommend the read.  It's hard, intense, but well worth the time and effort.

Does anyone out there have any recommendations for me? I'm an avid reader... I devour books if not daily then weekly and find myself in search of topics, authors that I haven't yet experienced.  Suggestions welcome!

-Carmen 

Just some random thoughts...

I got off of work wanting to blog. About no particular subject, just to write about whatever came to mind.

I have been dealing with several different issues at work that have left me physically and emotionally drained. Hopefully, the most important one is being dealt with sometime this week. But those things aren’t what I want to blog about. I’ve been talking and complaining about those issues too much for the last two weeks or so. So, do I blog about a topic on tv right now? What about an update on my life? Hmm…

Well, I’ve finally resolved the problems with my landlord. I moved out. And in with my boyfriend. Mother took it much better than I could have expected. Calmly, rationally, and logically. Which is what I should have expected, but didn’t. I’ll keep you updated on how that goes. It cuts my rent in half and makes it easier to get a home-cooked meal. We both want to cook more and it will be a lot easier together than apart. Plus, his mom has us over for dinner at least once a week and she’s an awesome cook! Lucky me! The commute is not an issue. There are several options open to me and I’m already familiar with the route from his place to work. So that’s good. Oh, did I mention that I no longer have to deal with my crazy landlady? That’s lovely in and of itself.

I am currently dog sitting once again. Breaking up the monotony of the normal routine, staying in his lavish place in Dupont Circle has been relaxing. My attorney’s dog, a beautiful, gentle, English Setter (Cedar), loves to cuddle and just be around me. I never realized that having a pet is a relaxing thing. He, the dog, loves unconditionally and asks nothing in return but my attention and a few walks. It’s nice, Cedar loves to cuddle so I am never cold at night. It’s nice for me, too, because my attorney lives literally 4 blocks from my job. It’s lovely to be able to walk to and from work. And the arrangement is beneficial to my attorney because he doesn’t have to pay to have Cedar boarded somewhere and he knows his home is safe while he is traveling. I do sitting anywhere from one night arrangements to 2 weeks. Usually, whenever my attorney travels – work or leisure – I dog-sit. And I get a little cash out of it.

What I simply cannot get over is that I find it very difficult to be warm on the main floor. Heat rises, but I’ve never experienced it like this. The top floor is always stuffy and sometimes unbearably warm. Of course, the top floor is a bedroom, office and full bathroom. – the guest room that my attorney has begun to call “Carmen’s room.” Yep, that’s how often I dog-sit.

And then there are the topics on tv. In the hour or so I’ve been sitting here after work, eating dinner, playing with Cedar and contemplating this blog post, I have watched a show about sexual taboos followed by a show about the Amish teenager’s rumspringa. An interesting tradition - to allow the teenagers to experience the outside world for a time before being baptized into the Amish church – they seem to go crazy with their freedom. They must throw some CRAZY parties!! On a more serious note, I think that the tradition is a good idea. Why restrict a teenager, at a time when they’re questioning everything, from experiencing the world outside Amish culture? It gives them the opportunity to determine for themselves if being Amish and conforming to all the rules and regulations of the religion is what they really and truly want. But there is always a negative aspect of the whole ordeal. The teenagers are not taught about the outside world and have no one to follow for an example on how to deal with certain issues they may encounter, such as drug abuse. To continue to defend the practice, drug abuse is wide spread and a danger to everyone and it is hard to overcome peer pressure in any situation. I can only imagine what it is like as Amish teenager – they’re already so different from mainstream, the peer pressure must be horrific during they’re rumspringa.

I thought it was hard enough growing up. I can’t imagine being Amish. Seriously, would you be able to function without technology? I read an article recently about a class in LA that did an experiment. For one week the class went without technology and kept a journal about their reactions and progress (or lack thereof). It made me think. Could I do it? The answer to that is no, a hard, definite no. I am checking my email constantly on my blackberry and on my computer. I use my iPod throughout the day and to and from work. I watch tv when I get up in the morning and when I get home from work. I listen to the radio constantly. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it, but I don’t know that I would want to put my mind to doing that.

And NCIS has come on. Good show.

~ Carmen

Censorship and Choice

http://www.broadcastingcable.com/article/210192-Supreme_Court_Backs_Government_Regulation_of_Fleeting_Expletives.php?rssid=20065

So censorship. This is a topic I have mixed feelings about. For the most part, I don't agree with censorship. I know that there are a lot of people that don't like or can even stand cussing. I also understand that in a professional environment or around children, certain language is, and will always be, inappropriate.

At the same time, if there are a few cuss words hear or there throughout a program on live-TV, I find it incredibly arbitrary, for lack of a better word, to fine the program and bleep the word. I don't even like it when a movie on live-TV is watchmacallit- I can't remember what it's called when they do a speak-over of the curse word in a movie with a regular exclamatory word. If you remember what I'm talking about, leave it in a comment. Anyways, that bugs the crap out of me. In my opinion, it actually takes away from the movie. Besides, if that language is in the movie, then I don't think little kids should be watching it or it's up to the parent's discretion.

In fact, that's what I think about most censorship. Why is the government imposing moral standards on people when it pertains to something as minor as a few cusswords?? Listening or watching programs with that language on it should be a choice people are allowed to make.

Which leads me to directly into another issue: that of choice. What's with the past administration taking as many choices away from us as possible? In case you don't get what I'm getting at, I'm pro-choice. Now, contrary to what has been said about people of my following, that does not mean I'm pro-abortion. It means that I believe that abortion should be a choice each woman has to make for herself. This is not to say that I would make that choice, but it does mean that I do not look down on people who do nor do I believe that if presented with the opportunity that many teenagers will use it as a form of brith control. Also, who are you (figuratively, not literally YOU as an individual) to say whether or not a young person has the right to purchase the Plan B pill? Is it possible that they used protection but something happened and they want to ensure that nothing happens? It's to prevent pregnancy, not END it. Again, it's a choice that the conservatives have attempted to take away from us.

But now I'm off topic and rambling.

Anyways, thoughts on censorship? I agree with daytime television, but during the hours when children should be in bed? Why censor then? If a person doesn't want to watch it, change the channel, read a book, magazine, find a censored version on the internet. There are other options available. And I can see that the same argument can be made for those of us that want to watch the un-censored version. Happy medium, anyone?

Besides, there's so much violence on mainstream tv without the curse words, does the language really matter? Prime time television has gotten so violent and graphic that it's hard for me to watch and I've become squeamish! I never used to be squeamish. Now I can't even watch someone on tv get their blood drawn. Me! The person who's had to "stab" herself multiple times daily since she was just under 2 years old. Lame. But we're more concerned with the language than the actual content of the show. Isn't this why they came out with the rating system? First movies and then tv? But I feel like they've stepped away from the rating of prime time tv because of the violence. Is CSI rated? All the cop shows like Law and Order SVU? I don't think so... but I could be wrong and just not paying attention to the first few minutes of the show. I mean, I know they have that first part that says it's violent and not reality, but still. Maybe I've just not noticed. Enh, whatever.

Alright, I just had these thoughts running through my mind. Opinions?

Opinions

I had planned to sit down and finally do a blog about my opinion about Facebook and MySpace' ethical ramifications in the education sector or even their influences on recruiting and hiring. I have thoughts on censorship that I'd like to hear others perspectives of.

But I got sidetracked. It's been a while since I blogged last- I got distracted by various other things going that are neither here nor there. But when I saw that a person I know from home tried to post the following link on their Facebook profile declaring for all the world to see that "it's great to see someone with the courage to standup to loud mouth idiots and take a stand no matter what the consequences," I couldn't help myself.

Link: http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&vid=edfbca5d-d2c2-4d7c-944e-2a12c45f84a3

Now, this is about Miss California's answer to Perez Hilton's question at the Miss USA pageant on Sunday night.

anyways, I was bothered by this Facebook profile comment mainly because the person referred to those with opposing opinions as "loud mouth idiots." I could care less if that's a personal opinion about Perez Hilton. My issue is with the fact that in linking "loud mouth" idiots with the fact that they're happy Miss California stood up and took a stand "no matter what the consequences" makes it a reference to all of those who opposer her opinion on gay marriage.

Regardless of the person voicing the opinion and whether you agree or disagree with it, respect should still be accorded that person and, frankly, referring to them as "loud mouth idiots" isn't respect. I believe that this particular persons opinion goes deeper than face value of their comment. I mean that I think they do not agree with gay marriage and get worked up when people voice that they are not opposed. I'll come back to this.

I don't understand people who have nothing of value to say when faced with something they disagree with. You know, those people that can only call others names instead of intelligently debating the issue at hand with legitimate facts or simply being able to state that they disagree due to personal beliefs but in turn respect that everyone has (and has the right to have) their own beliefs. I'm not sure if I'm getting this across right. Basically, these are the people that call you stupid instead of being able to put their own opinion into words without getting heated and angry. I could care less if they agree with Miss California-- it's the manner in which they portrayed their agreement with the statement. There was no reason to call anyone a "loud mouth idiot." The question came from a judge and was relevant to the time period and accompanied other questions of the political persuasion.

I used to get mad, heated, worked up when faced with people like this. But now? Now I'm just disappointed that people that act like this end up being "important" people, people of influence, people of power. I don't understand how people with such a complete and utter lack of understanding can be put into positions with power/influence. But it happens every day and I think it mainly comes down to the fact that a growing number of people have stopped thinking for themselves. It's sad, I know. But I think it's true. Why? Because these same people that can do nothing but point fingers at people and call them names rather than voice a relevant and thoughful argument, are just that. They are people that do not know enough about the sunject at hand on a factual basis to have a debate. They are people that are told that somehting is bad/wrong and instead of looking into it for themselves, believe what they are told wholeheartedly. And they'll fight for it! How do you fight for something you really don't understand? I understand if you don't agree but can you tell me WHY you don't agree? Most often, no, they can't. Or they say simply, "It's how I was raised." I'm sorry what does that mean? I get some actions- like how many knives you use at the table to butter your bread and whether or not you are ok with bread crumbs in the butter tub- are a result of how you were raised. But your beliefs? Your opinions? Aren't those supposed to be based off of how you feel about things? And how do you know you feel a certain way about a subject if you don't know anything about it?!?

Sadly, from my own personal experience, this is (or was and seems to still be) the norm with the person that posted the comment on their Facebook. I was never able to get past this personality quality of this person in high school and, apparently, would still have this issue today. What surprised me the most in high school is that this person excelled on our Debate team and was a speaker at graduation. It used to make me angry, and even defensive, when this person got like this. I had the unfortunate luck to have what appeared to be completely opposing opinions and views with this person and was often yelled at or called names or the like because of my beliefs and the fact that I really just wanted the respect of a fellow debator to be heard. That's it really, just heard. This person never did have the patience for that or the intelligence to realize that they could develop their own opinions further (whether to affirm their stance or to cause reflection of their beliefs) rather than to just dismiss what I had to say without even giving me the chance to say it. Not only is that rude, but it's obtuse.

I may not always agree with what people have to say, but I'm more than willing to listen to what they say. In fact, I like hearing what people of different opinions/perspectives/views have to say about certain issues whether I agree with them or not.

Now, continuing on with Miss California's comment. I agree with Perez Hilton. While I understand that the competition is mainly about looks and such, a good POLITICALLY CORRECT answer is necessary when faced with such a question. Otherwise how can we expect you to represent the ENTIRE country, regardless of your personal beliefs? While I don't agree with beauty pageants as a whole, you do have to be able to present yourself in a certain fashion to win, if that is, in fact, your ultimate goal. She knew after she'd made the comment that she'd lost the title. But she doesn't regret her answer. For that I give her props. On the other hand, she couldn't have expected to win with such an answer. Not only was it incorrect because she said "in my COUNTRY" when she probably meant to say family, town or something close to her, but you have to be able to convince the judges you represent the majority of the U.S.'s people. I'm sure there are those of you that would disagree with me- that's your right- but you do have to realize that there are those of us out here (and we're a growing number) that support gay marriage, more, complete gay equality. That is fact. If that goes against your religious beliefs, it's still a personal belief. Religion is not uniform across the country (no matter how people feel). Simply, not everyone believes as she does, so she did need to stay more in the middle with her answer. I think a "I would prefer not to answer this question due to personal beliefs. " or a "Personally, I can't answer the question, but I think that it should be left up to each state to decide separately on behalf of their voting population." Those answers would have been acceptable and maybe, just maybe she would have won. Who knows? I do kno that Perez gave her a poor score because of the way she answered the question.

Miss California, and the Facebook poster, have a right to their opinion, I respect it, but I disagree.

New shoes..

I've always wondered how people get into running. I'm one of those athletes that has never experienced a "runners high." And I call myself an athlete?! Yes, I do. I swim. That's my sport. I don't swim competitively anymore but I still classiby myself as such simply because that's the environment in which I feel the most comfortable. The east at which you glide through the water and the rythm of the stroke and your breathing has always intrigued me and continues to do so, but it's hard to find a pool that's nice and close by.

I avoid gyms. I don't like the look., the smell, the way people look at you in them. I constantly feel like I'm being stared at--am I dont something awkwardly? I know I look funny... Those types of feelings make it more appealing for me to just stay at home and enjoy a good book. I like to go on walks and randomly dog-sit for my attorney, but that doesn't do much for you if it's on a consistent basis. However, because I am out of shape and do little to-- ok, ok, fine--do no exercise at all on a regular basis (and I should), I joined the crowd of people that go and stretch and run and walk naked around the locker rooms all without really associating with each other. I joined Bally's for $30/month, no contract, no start up fees, cancel at any time. The locker room isn't that bad, there are locations everywhere and most of them have, yep you guessed it: POOLS.

And I've been running.

It's not much, I'm incredibly out of shape, but it's something right? I gave it a couple of weeks and then went shopping this weekend. I've enjoyed it, surprisingly. I've been tryin to go a minimum of 3 times a week. I haven't done more than that, but I'm working up to it. So, finally getting into a semi-regular exercise and more, running, I bought a couple of gym "outfits" and a nice little gym bag for the essentials. I go before work and found Saturdays, while busy, nice. I am averaging a 12 minute mile- sometimes more and sometimes less. But I do a 5 minute brisk walk to warm up (after stretching of course) and then I run consistently for 10 or 15 minutes, followed by a cool down and more stretching. I just reached my 15 minutes run and let me tell you, it was hard. I don't run very fast, but consistently stick between 4.8 and 5.5mph on the treadmill.

Then a former paralegal came and visited on Fridya. She used to lead the running group at my firm. She's an incredible motivator.

That afternoon I decided I would run a 5K. That's about 3.1 miles. I figure I'm not setting my goals too high, but still, it's something I'm going to have to get serious about. And I think that's what I need. I don't really have an excuse not to go to the gym 3 times a week, or not to run 10-15 minutes consistently each time, but I still find myself making them up and skipping out. But now I have a reason to NOT come up with excuses.

I have looked up local 5K events and have picked two out that I would like to participate in. Since each run has a fee, that limites my interest in participating in more than a couple. One run I have decided on the proceeds go to the Jevnile Diabetes Research Foundation, an organization that obviously means a lot to me as I have juvenile diabetes. The other run is in support of the Maryland Center for Veterans. Dave is a veteran and is a Marylander, so that sounded good to me.

Now, I just need better shoe...