WATCHMEN (spoiler alert)

SPOILER ALERT~~~~~ SPOILER ALERT~~~~~

I'm about to go into detail about a new movie I saw this weekend. If you haven't seen WATCHMEN, please don't read any further. I don't want to ruin if for anyone becasue, after all, the following is just MY opinion.

First off, I haven't read the book/graphic novel this movie was based on. I'll admit, that's probably why I didn't enjoy the movie--lack of background will do that do you. But still...

Ok. I sincerely feel that purchasing the tickets for Watchmen this past weekend was a complete waste of my money and time: 20 bucks for a 3 hour movie that was so terrible I left early. I've never left a movie before it's ending. Never.

Now, the effects were amazing. That was the only good thing throughout the entire 3 hour movie. (Do I need to reiterate that the movie was 3 hours long?)

The acting was bad. Cliche and cheesey. Not exactly what I was looking for in a superhero movie. I mean, some cheesiness is expected (they are, after all, superheroes with super powers, right?).

What was with the Blue man?? Did his wiener have to be hanging out throughout the ENTIRE movie? Really? Was that necessary?? There was one scene where he was wearing an ugly weird version of underwear and several more scenes in which he's wearing a full suit. I'm not incredibly conservative when it comes to clothing (or the lack thereof) but it was distracting! It's one thing if everyone is completely naked with all their junk hanging out but it's entirely differnt if it's just the one guy (who also happens to be blue and glows).

Given the underlying political/social theories (this was one deep movie, people), I think the reason behind the Blue Man not wearing underwear portrayed his (representing a piece of society) disconnect and apathy towards the rest of society. An it's-not-my-problem-I-don;t-want-to-be-involved type attitude. Ok. That I can buy.

On the topic of what I could buy or not:

-Nixon getting elected 5 times- can't/didn't buy it. I understand the political/historical undertones with this decision (the extension of the Cuban Missile Crisis (as a base point for the societal problems), the kennedy assisantion as an example of the deterioration of American society) but come on! Nixon? 5 times? Really?

-The movie takes place in the 1980s. could they not think up a more recent battle that could ultimately end in World War III and the entire anhilation of the human race that was more recent? It was hard to grasp. There was their flying car. I guess I just found it hard to grasp because the science in the movie was so much more advanced than ours now and it's long past the 1980s. But I guess that's where the superheroes come in (one of which is the "Smartest Man in the World").

Moving on.

I didn't like how the opening credits took so long. Ok it did give some background to the prior set of superheroes that were either killed or succumbed to corruption to get by. But they were about 10 minutes long! I was lost before the actual movied started. And it took so long to put the background into perspective with the rest of the movie. They also threw random bits of additional background information at us throughout the rest of the movie. So confusing.

I understood (at least I think I did, hopefully for the most part anyways) that the underlying philosophy was about hte state of manking and what steps might be necessary to save it. I get that not everyone, even superheroes, are strong enough to avoid corruption or to stay completely true to why they started their fight. (On a side note, Rorschach, remained true to his character and died for it in the end even though it was a "happy" ending (the better of two evils was accepted by the group of superheroes)).

I thought there was too much dialogue. Too much pointless chatter between characters that didn't connect to other issues, scenes or even helped with character growth. Now that was disappointing. And way to dramatic to boot. Throw it in our faces that society is headed downhill, why don't you? Could you be any more blunt about it? Sheesh.

I know I mentioned that it was really confusing before, but it was so hard to follow! It didn't seem like it was going in a very "straight" direction. There were so many twists and turns and details thrown at us that it was very confusing. That takes away from the movie experience.

I admit, I'm not the greatest movie critic. I don't watch movies to be left thinking about the philosophy behind them (sad I know) . I go to be entertained, sometimes this does mean a political/philisophical movie is what I choose, but not last night. For three hours last night, I could have been doing something more entertaining or even productive than hoping Watchmen got better.

I'm gonna try the book to see if that changes my feeling about this movie. Hell, maybe I need to watch the movie again.

-C